Top 3 Things you can do with your pain

Top 3 Things you can do with your pain


It's true, it's hurt people that hurt people, this is the wisdom that has been handed down to me long ago.  As I reflect upon my on pain I recognize three things a person can do with their pain.

1.    The first thing a person can do with their pain is abuse their pain.

These are people who express their pain outwardly.   Because someone hurt them they go throughout life hurting others.  In relationships they cheat, are physically and verbally abusive.  In school they bully others because they've been bullied in some way shape or form.   The interesting thing is most of us who cause pain in the lives of others because of our own past hurts.  We can't see that we cause pain towards other simply because internally—mentally, emotionally, physically and even spiritually we are hurting and refuse to acknowledge it.

2.     The second thing a person can do with their pain is be abused by their pain.

People who are abused by their pain mentally torture themselves, constantly relive the painful experiences that happened in their past over and over again.  They constantly replay the experience with vivid imagination, thinking of different ways the outcome would have been had they done something different.  This pain is the most damaging.  The incident is relived on such an ongoing basis, where something that happened 3 years ago feels like it just happened yesterday. 

Brokenness is the result of this pain and bitterness becomes the marrow within their bones.  In example number one they are releasing it even though it's released in a negative way, it's still being released, but example number two locks it inside trying to hide and holding it in.

I read an article that said, the #1 issue 90% of all teens had who committed suicide they felt no one would listen to them.  Talk people it could save your life.

3.    The third thing a person can do with their pain is, Use it. 

I am fortunate that through much reflection I began to see that the truth shall set you free.  There I was standing in the bathroom looking myself in the eye in the mirror "if I could sum up my life in one message what would it be?"  I asked.  You would have thought I said mirror, mirror on the wall like in cartoons, when from the depth of my being my mind said "Face it...you're a punk, that's the only way to change it."  Instantly my mind went back to all the challenges I had run from. 

The 6th grade bully rob, relationship after relationship because of fear of commitment, and the moments when I was by myself afraid to tell myself the truth...How pathetic.   Interestingly enough this would be the catalyst that would set me free as I accepted the truth I had so earnestly avoided all my life.

Life is the ultimate mirror, if you really want to know the truth about what you believe just look at your life.  I guess Jesus was right when he said "You'll know them by their fruit."  In other words you'll know what they believe by what they do.

After this experience I dedicated myself to “Be more” than what I had allowed myself to be.

I realized I was afraid of me and the moment I stopped being afraid of what was indeed fact, I could face reality and change it, but more importantly I could take back the power that my painful experiences leading up to that moment had taken from me by giving my pain purpose. 

As a result I decided to use my gift of speaking to spreading the gospel of Change around the world.  A life can be rebuilt is my motto.  My mission is to build a foundation of Inner Strength & Stability within our young people so they can build a life worth living, by sharing my story of redevelopment, and the process it takes to rebuild. 

To Your Development,

Charles Henderson
Phone: 617-329-9007
Chief Rebuilder
The Rehab Project: Teach & Train to Transform

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