Friday, February 25, 2011

If you're a COWARD don't get....


If you're a coward don't get married. Marriage is not for the weak, but it is fertile ground for two people who if are weak --and they choose to plant themselves there--can be made you strong-(I am a witness)-better yet can I get a witness!  Let the church say amen! Lol. Anyhow, my wife posted a question about whether or not divorce should be an option and why or why not on Facebook, on every comment on there it seemed that divorce was like the "Staples" easy button to solve a problem.  

I use to wonder why people would say they don't believe in divorce when the divorce rate is like 70%, but I get it now.  Every individual in a marriage has to come to a place where he/she both realize they are both the problem and the solution in their marriage. You can get a divorce but it won't solve the problem it will only allow the lack of development-(weaknesses)-of both parties to go unnoticed because there is no one there to challenge the areas within you that need development.

Fellas, your wife didn't make you cheat you did that cause you don't own you. You have no self control.
 Ladies your man didn't make you say those horrible thing about him that made him look and feel less than a man, you did that because you don't own you. You felt less than before you got with him and now you want to help yourself artificially grow by putting him down.  The problem is both of you have areas of development and failed to “SEE” them.  We may have entered the institution of marriage based on we you feel, but we forgot about the purpose marriage has itself.
Marriage wasn't some great idea man made up just so he could "Sow his Royal Oats".  Marriage is an institution created by God for a greater purpose. The greater purpose of marriage is to be fertile ground for developing human beings through the context of COMMITTED relationships.
When we fail to see our marriage through the lens of the purpose of marriage we only see our problems are just problems.  However, when you look at marriage through the lens of the purpose of marriage we can see clearly that marriage show the evidence that something is lacking within the individuals that needs to develop and grow when challenges arise.  In view of the greater purpose of marriage, the challenges we have in marriage aren't problems they're opportunities for growth.  If the individual in a marriage want to grow they need to see their behavior through the lens of the greater purpose of marriage to understand their behavior isn't based on the other person, it’s based on how they see themselves.  If we all agree single and married, the moment you start seeing yourself in a negative way and start feeling bad that's the moment you want to step outside of your marriage and have someone else make you feel good about you. The moment someone say something that makes us look at ourselves in a low way that is the moment we try to make them feel low, so that we can see ourselves higher again.
The problem is your self-image is at all time low.  Being married is not the problem, staying married is not the problem.  Not wanting or being unable to take responsibility for you crap individually because of immaturity, that's the problems.  Marriage is simply a mirror showing you the issues. Divorce is not an option because divorce doesn't solve the problem the two individuals have. Without the institution of marriage—where you grow the most—We, our kids and our society slowly crumble and die inside because our inner issue are being avoided.  Like the old folks say:   “You, can't run from you.”  Divorce is not an option because Divorce will never solve YOUR problems.

Share your questions, comments, concern or criticisms in the comments section.  I'd really appreciate what you have to say.

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Charles Henderson
Phone: 617-329-9007
Chief Rebuilder
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